It is Superbowl Sunday, and the Chiefs are playing against the 49ers. I am upstairs on my computer playing with website design because I promised myself that I would try to be creative this weekend. I have no idea yet what my intentions are with this website, but the blog section caught my eye so I figured I would start here. 

I could care less about the Superbowl. Like really, who cares Lol. Lately music hasn't been exciting me and the media all starting to feel too forced and recycled like were stuck in a loop. Lol. So instead, I have decided to let out my continuous obsession and love for Jesus and mastermind ways I can celebrate him instead. 

Any who, today marks the 41st day I have been on my journey with Jesus Christ, my lord and Saviour. Yes, you heard right. My Lord and Saviour, the prince of peace and my redeemer!

(Yes, it's that's serious! Lol. As I type, I cannot control the smile on my face and joy when I think of him. How he has saved my life by dying for my sins. There is NO way I would ever be able to repay him. I only want to please him and live for his will...Who other could you say loves you UNCONDITIONALLY 100%? And would DIE for you!!!? oh.

 And I'm not talking about your mama, father, boyfriend or husband---cause best believe, they may love you, but NOTHING is like the Lord's love. NOTHING. If you know, you know.

And if you don't... I can only encourage that you try to develop a relationship with Christ, repent, and get to know him and his TRUE word.

 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1, NKJV. 

 If you were to tell me this January 1, 2024, I would have been skeptical. Even though my journaling word of the year was "PEACE", I had no clue what that truly meant and how to achieve it. I had planned to just "manifest", "think positive" and "protect my energy" in order to achieve it (cringe!). I had my crystals, horoscope apps, abundance journaling, all the foolish things I have since thrown away, but I really believe they had control over my "destiny". All false idols! I can only laugh, pity but forgive myself for my naivety back then because I was so foolish to think I could manipulate and have power through myself ALONE with the help of material items. I cry sometimes in gratitude for the Jesus saving me and his patience and grace he gave me. Thank you, Lord! I was so lost but you never left me. You were always there, just patiently waiting for me to come back to you sincerely and faithfully. 

 'Then Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." Luke 23:34, NKJV

But look at me now! So, I could go into a back story of my life experiences and everything that led me up to this point of my borderline obsession with Christ, but I'll say that for another time. I knew at the end of the last year I wanted to read the bible for myself. 

I was tired of seeing random scriptures offline to justify my reasons for why I DIDN'T wholeheartedly want to develop a relationship with God...Or finding clips and images online that reassured why it was okay for me to stay in that mental space I was in of believing in "spirituality" but not really knowing God and his true word. 

Christmas 2024 my brother gave me money and I decided I would go to the bookstore and get myself a bible the next day. I hadn't done any prior research on which one would be best, I just honestly went to the Religion section and started skimming through what caught my eye. After spending 30 minutes, I had decided on a "One Year Bible" for women. 

If I followed the plan within the bible's authors, I would be able to finish the bible in 365 days. For example, on January first I would read a few chapters from Genesis (1-3), then it would give chapters from the New Testament (Matthew 1-3), a psalm verse and a proverbs verse. Also, the bible translation was an NLT (New Living Translation).

Now looking back, I am very grateful the spirit led me into picking up this translation of the bible versus the other translations I had grown up with. This translation was easier for me to understand, and I liked how each day included the old and New Testament, plus a psalm and proverb. Also, the authors summaries and input at the end of the day wasn't too lengthy and overwhelming--Just enough. So, I would encourage others who are starting off on their journeys to research the various translations available (KJV, NKJV, NLT, CSB, etc). Please research!!!!! Don't just take my word or anyone else.

I was very ignorant and there is still a lot I have to learn about the various translations and interpretations, but I think my biggest hangup was that back then when I tried to read the bible, it was hard for me to understand the wording and comprehend it. I can definitely feel the difference in my thought process between then and now. I am extremely for spirit and the Lord's patience with me lol. 

I remember that I had started reading a little before new year 2024. I had purchased these cute bible tabs that I had wanted to decorate my bible with, so I wanted to start reading so that I had a reason to make my bible look "aesthetic" (looking back, how silly!) So at that time, it was more of a "New Year's" resolution fr me that I stil hadn't taken serious and resisting because of my ego. I had heard many times that "Jesus" had always been used against the slaves to control us and how "contradicting" the teachings were in the bible. But now looking back, I am happy spirit had patience with me and allowed the foolery because of my egoistic pride in trying to prove why I was better off "spiritual", I read the bible for myself. I needed to see for myself what all the hoopla was about....And man, was  I wrong!

Also, I do want to add-- During this time, I was starting to gravitate watching Christian content and sermons from popular "pastors" that I would soon come to learn were shady...but that's another topic...I was in the middle of a turning point in my life when I wanted to seek the truth because I always felt like something was "missing". Even though I had just graduated with my bachelors, had a decent job, family ok, there was a void within my heart. At times I felt like everything was pointless.... I wouldn't call it "sadness", but almost like a longing...like I knew this Earth wasn't my permanent home and my soul would return one day to my true paradise of eternal bliss. I just KNEW these earthly matters and material things were only temporary, NOTHING permanent. 

I started on Genesis; the same chapters I have read over the years but could never seem to get past. I had never made it past Genesis. But this time, it was different. I don't know if it was cause I was readng Genesis (old testament) Matthew (new testament), psalms and proverbs all on the same day, plus the translation was easy to understand, but this time, I couldn't stop reading. Each day I wanted to read more and more. Each day I was learnng something new and the same stories from Genesis and random scriptures online I thought I knew were almost brand new too me. I was actually comprehending what the Lord's word and starting to feel a genuine POWERFUL connection. 

Even if I got on my knees and praised 24/7, it still wouldn't express the gratitude I have for GOD. So the least I can do is share his good news, the gospel with others. I am not a teacher, I still have a lot to learn and I'm not expecting to receive anything in return. I am not sharing because I think it's going to get me into heaven. I am not sharing because I have some ego-complex and I think my power and influence alone can SAVE others. no.

Cause to be honest, I still struggle with even liking people! Lol. Seriously, I think we are (humans) are the worst things GOD has ever created. We are sinful, drug addicts liars, cheaters, murders, absolute DESTROYERS! Including myself! Some of us not only harm animals but have the nerve to even harm children! 

I have a LONG way to go, and I will be learning something new and on my journey until the Lord decides to transition me. I have accepted that I have no room to judge, I am sinful and my journey with him will be up and down but....

Since I have faith in him, I believe Jesus died on the cross for all sins, I repent and I try to put into actions God's true words of the bible, he will not only save me, but he STILL loves me!